Tuesday, July 14, 2009

4 Simple Techniques To Save Your Marriage


In today's world, many couples encounter problems and differences that lead to miserable marriages that often lead to divorce. No one would like to have a broken marriage. The majority still prefers to save the marriage rather than resorting immediately to divorce. Here are some tips that may be considered in saving a marriage:

1. Take action. Take the initiative in doing the things that were usually done when both were still in love and happily married. The wife should try doing those small things that were important to her husband. She could cook a special dinner for the husband, prepare his clothes for tomorrow’s work or even give him small gifts and cards when he would least expect them.

2. Learn to talk. It is hard to keep things to oneself. The spouse may talk to her husband about the things she is feeling regarding their relationship. If the problem is about sex, then the wife should be very open about the subject.

3. Listen to what he says. Open communication does not just involve talking. You must also learn how to listen. The wife should give the husband the chance to talk. If there is a problem that he is brings up, then the wife should not be defensive and instead should listen. The things that are brought up should be treated as guides so that the couple will learn how to respect each other's feelings and points of view.

3. Learn to forgive and forget. If saving marriage is important, then the couple should know how to move on. What matters is how much they really want to save the marriage. Do not dwell on the past mistakes, instead learn to forget everything and accept one another. Bringing up the past will not save the marriage. One must learn how to forgive the spouse and forget all the mistakes of the past.

4. Seek advice. It is strongly recommended that you seek advice from a close friend or family member. Getting the advice of a counselor is also helpful. Is it recommended that both the husband and wife attend sessions. They may be able to open up and speak freely with the help of a counselor.

These are just a few tips that can help save the marriage. However, these suggestions are useless if the husband and/or wife is not willing to cooperate. Above all, love should always be present to save the relationship. It is love that will make all these things easier to do and will help in saving a marriage that was meant to last forever.

Goals And Dreams In Marriage: If You Love Me You Will Tell Me



Marriage is always in progression. The two individuals in the marital relationship journey in stages and grow continuously.

This marital growth entails a lot of commitment, trust, effort and reciprocity. Healthy and well built marriages are not by chance, but are worked upon.

The basic element of “being one” in marriage is companionship. Like friends, couples are open with each other’s interests, dreams and goals.

A married couple often will find it difficult to deal with certain problems when there is no common goal that is established. Goals enable the couple to realize that both are not competing, instead, working together and needing one another’s help.

Married couples should cooperate and work for these dreams and goals with all dedication and devotion.
Should both you and your spouse’s goals appear to be much different, as they sometimes do, never give up. Talk and recognize both your needs that each goal can satisfy. You can discover during the process that you both have similar dreams and goals; it was just the direction that was different. And this can be dealt with as you talk.

The significant thing here is to share similar priorities as well as personal values in life together with your spouse, that when you take the time to communicate with each other regarding your needs and motivations, you will be surprised to learn that you both have identical dreams and goals.

Goals can center on your children, the family as a whole, your individual careers, your possessions and your pastimes.

The following are guidelines to better understand and relate with your partner's goals:

1. Know your spouse. Pay close attention to his or her habits and values.

2. Bond and respond. Whatever that goes on within your spouse’s life, in his/her career, you know that there are dreams and goals in each aspect. So be sensitive and take part; worry and celebrate in his accomplishments.

3. Let your spouse influence you. Be willing to share in his/her decisions. Understand his/her goals and when you do not agree at some point, at least support him or her..

4. Compromise. When your goals do not exactly match, know when to put the brakes if you feel that the conversation is becoming confrontational. Be calm and tolerant.

When you both have strong appreciation and understanding of all your dreams and goals you become closer together as a married couple, it makes married life a lot more pleasant and easier to handle. After all, you are partners in life.

Monday, July 13, 2009

7 Good Traits of Happy Marriage / Couple


Based on statistics, successful marriages are becoming very rare. In fact, one in every three marriages usually ends up in divorce.

Married couples and experts do agree that the magical yet simple element in all relationships is the constant demonstration of one’s affection.

Researches show that what produces pleasure and contentment in one’s marriage was frequently demonstrating affection.

Happy married couples have reciprocal respect for each other. Respect is shown in the way they regard each other in actions and in words; withholding humiliating words even in an argument.

In marriage, couples give their relationship utmost importance. They enjoy each other’s company and spend quality time together, like dating regularly. This indicates prioritizing their relationship that plants a foundation for their future at such time as when children have to leave home.

Each spouse must learn not to give importance to minor faults and flaws; determine the really important issues and those that are not. They become aware that the purpose or their conflicts war not really to win, but rather to establish a deeper relationship.

Successful marriages are all not alike. But researchers have discovered that there are some traits present in happy married couples that contribute to the success of their marriage.

Traits that of happily married couples include:

1. Spouses in the relationship are giving. They give, not expecting things in return.

2. There is commitment between each of them. They continue to work for their partner’s happiness and are driven to work hard on their marriage.

3. Being strong-minded makes their bond stronger. While they cherish their individuality in expressing their opinions, making decisions and pursuing goals, putting their marital relationship in harmony is their priority.

4. These couples have active sexual lives. Sex plays a significant role in marriage, therefore they always find ways to make it more pleasurable.

5. There is constant communication in their marriage. They are free to share their thoughts and opinions about anything, each one not manipulative of the other but allowing each one to grow.

6. Each one is sensitive to the other’s need.

7. They establish goals together. They agree on their goals as “partners in life”.

Marriage is a commitment for courageous individuals ready to risk their emotions, hard work, and challenges of building a life together.

Sacrifice: A Unique Tool For Lasting Marriage


Statistics clearly show that most marriages often end up in divorce.

According to relationship researchers, almost all couples, happy or not, have comparable number of incompatible differences. Sixty-nine percent of these disagreements are left unresolved.

Often, the selfish behavior of one partner separates them from their spouse. Each divorce is usually the outcome of one’s selfishness in the marriage. One thinks of only satisfying himself; the conveniences, comforts, luxuries and freedom.

Marriage is surrendering totally oneself to another person. The wife submits herself to the husband as the husband, surrenders to his wife; marriage entails a complete surrender, meaning to sacrifice.

Together with considerations comes adaptation and adjustments. If it is already obvious that adjustment have to be made, a spouse must be eager and ready to accomplish anything that is needed.

There will be times in a marriage that spouses should sacrifice something he/she feels important such as a hobby, a job, something that a spouse likes doing, to preserve certain relationship.

To make a marriage to last, it must be guarded and protected. Each spouse has to avoid, limit or give up whatever it is that threatens it.

To others, it can require giving up a loved hobby like golf, bar hopping with friends, or stop communicating with a workmate who is clearly “getting too close.”

Spouses can sacrifice their:

1. Beliefs. Should both have opposing beliefs, (for example, raising their children) spouses need to discuss matters and understand each other’s point of view. When both really can not agree a compromise is needed the wife might let her husband lead, as long as the husband’s beliefs are for the betterment of their children.

2. Goals. Married couples should set common goals so both can work as a team.

3. Career. When career is a threat to one’s family, one should sacrifice it.

5. Priorities. Remember that in marriage there is no more “I” - entail lot of “we”. Set your priorities straight, your marriage should always come first.

6. Independence. While there are many husbands and wives who value their independence and their spouses understand, one should always consider and consult the other before a mutual decision is made.

Nobody would acknowledge that they depend on someone for strength and stability. Husbands and wives who change their ways for their spouse may be negatively viewed many who are not familiar with the circumstances.

Love enables husbands and wives to willingly sacrifice to attain a lasting marriage.